I don’t know about you but once I get my mind set on something I want to do or something that I want in life I struggle to focus on much else until it happens or hopefully happens. I find myself picturing doing the “thing” whether it is planning a weekend away with Warren, what race I am going to work towards, or something as simple as wanting ice cream and where am I going to get it from?
Well, the thing that I have had my mind set on for close to two weeks was a job posting that was sent around via email at work. The job posting was for the position of a Public Relations and Social Media Coordinator with Clara’s Big Bike Ride for Bell Let’s Talk. When I read the job description it spoke to me and I could see the next eight months of my life doing this job and how I would be on an amazing adventure. The day I read the posting I came home from work excited to tell Warren and had huge smile on my face the whole time while telling him.
I told him everything about the position and thought about what days would be like. I pictured travelling with Clara and being part of her team as she rides across Canada, speaking at schools about mental illness. I could see myself keeping their social media accounts up-to-date about her adventure. I would have to write press releases and speak to press which were two things I have never done but felt I could learn quickly. I could see myself running in a new place every day and exploring lots of areas I have never been in Canada. And one of the coolest things was that I would get to travel with Clara Hughes, an Olympian, and get to know her. I know she is someone just like you or me but hearing the of who she is and how she came to be I thought would be so interesting.
My only concern or silly worry was being on the road day in and day out and what would I do for food? I wouldn’t be able to handle eating out at a restaurant each day because I struggle with that when Warren and I go away sometimes just for a weekend. I do love my home cooked meals. I then solved the problem and figured I would be all good. Clara would need healthy food on the road since she is riding each day so I am sure wherever she ate we would eat as well.
In the job posting I had there wasn’t a contact name or an application deadline so last week I spoke to someone to help get me that information. I worked on my resume and cover letter this past weekend and submitted it first thing Monday morning so it was in the Event Director’s inbox when he arrived at work. I didn’t want to get lost in the shuffle of emails from the weekend. I felt good when I went to work.
I hadn’t heard anything via email through the day and then this morning I decided to check my work email from home before I went to work. I don’t do that but I was anxious to see if he had written. And there it was…a reply to my application and I was so excited. I opened up the email and I was told things like I was a “remarkable individual, he was impressed with my experience and any organization would benefit from my efforts and skills but the offer had been accepted by someone else.” They were all nice things to hear but I was deflated. That wasn’t the news that I had hoped to hear.
So, this morning I had planned to go for a run but then didn’t feel like it. I looked at the time and it was 6:00am and I would need to leave to walk to work around 7:15am because Huli was still at work. I had ridden Huli to work yesterday and then left her at work because Margot and I had gone hiking right after. So, my run wouldn’t be very long so why bother; it wasn’t worth it I thought?
I then smartened up and I went upstairs and got myself ready to go. There was no reason for me no to go because a run was what I needed. I had everything I needed at work for to shower and all the food I needed for the day so all I had to pack were my clothes in my backpack and I headed out the door. I put my tunes on and escaped my thoughts. The morning was crisp and refreshing at the same time.
While I ran I thought about how disappointed I was over the email and the news of not getting the position. I had never reacted about a job like this before and I have been rejected from jobs that I actually interviewed for so what was different about this one? I came to the conclusion that this job, at least in my head would not have been “work” It would have been a lifestyle and wouldn’t it be awesome to work a lifestyle. Everything about this role felt like I would be doing something I love. .
How do you escape from yourself when things don’t go how you wanted?