Confession time

Hello!

Does anyone remember me? I know I have been missing for a VERY long time in the world of blogging. You may not have noticed or wondered why but for those of you who do here is my confession.

Back in July 2014 I went to write my Fitness Theory exam; the first step in me becoming a personal trainer and the final results were not as I had hoped. I got 40 out of 60 questions right and I could only afford to get 12 wrong in order to pass. I was upset and embarrassed but decided that I would try not let it ruin the summer vacation Warren and I were headed on the very next day. Well, it did affect our vacation but it wasn’t until after we got back home and I had time to reflect that I realized why I was the way I was while we were away.

After we got back home I hide away from the fitness world I guess you could say. Some friends would ask me about workouts and what they could do but I didn’t feel confident in my ability to tell them. I avoided helping and just stuck to running because it was easy to do. I put my Fitness Theory text and materials in a drawer and left them there. Hidden was better than seeing them everyday. Instead of focusing on studying harder and finally passing the exam I felt disappointment in myself and wondered what people thought of me. Those who knew I was writing the exam said that I would do great because I was born to be a personal trainer. But, if that was the case why did I fail the exam? How could I let people know that I was not as good as they thought? How could I write to everyone on my blog and let them know about my failure? What was the purpose now of Early Bird Fitness? I had so many questions and the answers were unknown so I avoided everything.

Finally closer to Christmas, after a talk with my good friend Sharon I started to think in my head about posts that I would share with you and how I would reintroduce myself back into the world of blogging. I was ready to share my news and where I had been. But then there was my out-of-date website. I love it and how it looks but I didn’t get it this way. I am not savvy with HTML, CSS and all those other acronyms used to describe and do web design. All the behind the scenes work and credit goes to my friend Brad at Creative Juices. So, over Christmas break I started to try and play around with the behind the scenes work but have had no luck to date.

So, now what perhaps you are asking? Well, over the Christmas break Warren said to me that we needed to find me a hobby. I said that I have one; it is my blog. I have started to try and learn how to edit it but it will be a long process. For now it will be out-of-date with some information and pictures but bare with me as I learn. I am back to write and tell you all the random things that I do show me on the blog again. I love writing and have missed it.

As for my exam, I am working with Sharon to try again. I don’t have a set date to write and I am relearning slowly but surely. She is helping me with tricks to remember the bones and muscles and so far I have the skeletal system down with many, many more muscles to go.

And finally I realized that my friends don’t care whether I fail an exam or not. They aren’t my friends because they think I should be a personal trainer. They are my friends because they like who I am. They like that I can take them outside their comfort zone at times when working out and support them when they need it. Thank you to all of you.

I feel that sharing this information about me is beneficial in many ways both for myself and others. I am not looking for sympathy. I need to share this as part of my healing process.

Until my next adventure…

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19 thoughts on “Confession time

  1. Ohhhh… sweet lady… you’ve made me a little teary. You have such an amazing soul and spirit (with craps loads strength as exampled is this honest post)… and are destined for all that you desire. Sorry to hear that you didn’t pass that test… didn’t know you were taking it… but still sorry. But you know… it was for a reason. Every thing does happen for a reason… and this had made you go through some things that you might now have done so otherwise. And now you’ve come out the other end to see that it is still something for which you are passionate – THAT is an truly a gift! You inspire me on a regular basis… not because you pass any test… because you have that genuine self and passion for others. No test can ever measure that – or ever take it away. This test is just that… a test. You will study hard and learn a whole bunch more things… and you will celebrate when it’s done. And then you’ll move on to the next test that life throws you… and kick its ass.

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  2. Aw, Kyla. Doesn’t it suck when those internal gremlins find a toehold in your head? Kick ’em out, and know that you got this. Let your passion and enthusiasm pull you through, at your pace, when you are ready. We’re all here to support you. Hugs!

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  3. Wow! I had no idea. Success is not a straight line ever and the harder you have to work the more rewarding it will be. Good on for you being courageous with your words and honest to you readers. That alone makes you an amazing blogger! I know MANY doctors, lawyers and accountants that have failed their tests one, two or even three times. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, you can do it!
    I don’t know what else to say but if I could I would come over with a big hug, a big jar of peanut butter and some running shoes 🙂 🙂 Keep yourself out there and the ones that respect you will see your courage. For the rest , WHO CARES 🙂 🙂

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    1. Thanks Erinn. I did well at not sharing the news. Felt too ashamed at the time but now see things differently. Onwards and upwards.

      As for the hug, PB and running shoes that is perfect. You know me well. You are welcome anytime and just cause. 🙂

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  4. Hey Kyla,
    This post made me sad that you faced this struggle in pursuing your dream, and then made me happy to see you persevering. Failures don’t define who you are as a person, it is how you learn from them and become a better person because of them that matters. You are an amazing person who has overcome some crazy things and I know you will be a great personal trainer!!

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    1. Hey Rhonda! I have learned from this and it has only made me strong and wiser as to what I need to do to succeed. If they only didn’t give two options that are so similar for an answer that would make things easier too. 🙂

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  5. Hey Kyla, it’s great to see you back in the game again 🙂

    Your posts have been great to read and I’m looking forward to reading more now that your creative juices are returning. I’m also pleased to read that you’re looking to re-sit your PT exams again and if I can help in any way, please let me know. Everyone likes you for being you, not for your status or anything else but I do believe you will become a great Personal Trainer and I also believe the period out of action will have helped you become stronger and I reckon you’ll smash the exam next time.

    What if failing that exam turned out be the best thing that ever happened to you? It has obviously lead to you re-evaluating what’s important to you and what’s interesting is that after the exam, you put all your text etc in a drawer, not in the bin, so deep down there was always that possibility you could return to it again when you were ready. You didn’t fail, it probably wasn’t right for you at the time and you have now learned much more as a result and you will come back stronger 🙂

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    1. Thank you Steve. I think the second try of the exam will be better for me. It was just a hard hit to the ego to begin with but through fresh eyes I see it differently.

      I may take you up again on your offer for help. It was fun to chat with you and Allison the first time about it.

      Thanks for your support.

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  6. I’ve missed your posts, glad you are back to writing! Don’t worry about your exam, sometimes we have bumps in the road but just remember it’s a bump and you can still go in that direction if you want to.
    “We need to find you a hobby”…I love that 🙂 I find blogging a hobby to, something I do for fun but I actually get so much out of it in return.

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  7. I missed your posts!
    I hate exams. I always find that in practical I’m okay but theory, it’s hard work. It almost doesn’t matter if it’s a subject I like or revise hard for either – exams are the worse — but don’t let it stop you! Keep going 🙂
    I’m glad your back!

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  8. Welcome back Kyla! I admire your honesty and courage in sharing your story. Keep your head high with whatever you decide to do going forward! You may have hit a hurdle, but it will help make you stronger. There are so many ways you can help other athletes, including this blog! 🙂

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    1. Hi Reni, Thank you. It was hard but it felt needed. I needed to air my dirty laundry in order to get back on here and posting again. It was a big learning curve and I am happy for it.

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  9. Hi Kyla!

    I’ve been SO busy lately, and I’m finally starting to catch up with all of my bloggers! This post is so honest and the feelings ring so true with the perfectionist in me! Not passing the exam might be a small setback for you, but I wouldn’t consider it a “failure!” It is only a measure of a few things that you still need to retain to be officially certified. Plus, a written test is only ONE component of becoming a successful personal trainer! You can teach someone theory or anatomy, but how is their patience level? Personal skills? Dedication? Ability to motivate others? There are so many immeasurable factors at play that you can’t administer a test for. People come to you with questions or read your blog for a reason, and I’m guessing you have a lot to offer future clients!

    Good luck to you!! 🙂

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